Klassy Fucker

Hey Fuckers,

Was thinking about how much internet hand humping that is going on these days. People are all on Facebook, Twitter, all flirting and posting about how ‘horny’ they are.

The Internet is Killing your Game:

Too many guys and girls are not actually going out and talking in a human way, last time I checked with my scientist (on staff 24/6 at Klassy HQ) a guy must still have a REAL girl to have actual sex. Too many times guys & girls are flirting all night on Social Net’s vs. actually going out and getting laizd. By the end of the night they’re on xTube knocking one out, thank goodness granny sewed you that nice dream Catcher, eh?. (SNAPKIN!)

Girls and their Machinery:
Girls I know how goooooooooooooooood vibrators feel, and no guy is going to be able to move his tongue at 1000 licks a minute (ok minus Gene Simmons but gross)

Putting up a slutty tit pic on Twitter / FB is going to get you attention for sure. But trust me when I say you put on that same top and go to a bar with the same slutty confidence you have behind the screen, and be open to some hot sex vs. putting up the “Go to bitchy wall” I’m telling you, you’ll get laid. So save the machinery for a lazy afternoon and put on a skin tight dress with some ‘Side Boob’ and get laidGuys love sluts! If you are keeping score at home (Sluts always win all the time) -Be Smart Use a Condom

Guys Stop Touching yourself!

Your long arm of the LAW needs a break from time to time. Unless you’re 18 (you’re not!) you can’t cum 9 times a day. Save some spunk for your slam dunk! Girls are way better than internet porn and trust me no detergent can get man juice out of your socks . -SHOUT IT OUT!

Want the crazy shit you see on Porn sites, ASK HER! Don’t be afraid to just ask a woman what turns her on, it might get weird but fuck it….whatever get’s her off and you off! Also, when you go to a girl who’s dressed SUPER SEXY she’s spent so much time doing her makeup, hair, nails, and outfit. Don’t be a dick, women love Confidence but not ASSHOLES. Theirs a HUGE difference. (also, don’t go out in Flip Flops…be a fucking man and wear real shoes)

So perhaps start a SASSY conversation with a girl on a Social Network, then break it out in the real world. People as part of their Animal DNA want to have SEXY TIMES with fun sexy people. So turn the computer, mobile, and porn off and get into someone’s pants…..For realizies…

-Klassy